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about
Track 12
lyrics
(Verse 1)
Late night in my room and I should be sound asleep, eyes obscured by tears as I'm countin' sheep, it haunts you, to feel that nobody wants you, hard to move on when there's nothing to move on to, battling depression while I'm straddling aggression, it's saddening, maddening, a gradual progression, fixed on an ideal that's a bad little obsession, but I should prob'ly stop straw-graspin' and pretendin', 'cause I know I'll never have it, gotta get out of the habit of seeing what other people have and thinkin' I can match it, fiendin' like an addict for something to fill the gaps with, but never being able to clear my head of the static, things are always feelin' tragic, masturbate away the pain, deposits of myself left inside a napkin, naked and alone, jaded as the stone, at a loss for words, how do I state it in a poem, it's like
(Chorus)
I'm falling down into a hole, I'm calling out, but I'm alone, nothing to feel, nothing to grasp, nothing is real, nothing will last
(Verse 2)
If love is a battlefield, I'm armed to the teeth, marching into the heart of the beast, but it's startling me, ill prepared, asking for it but still as scared as I ever have been, afraid it'll kill me there, I never wanna get hurt, but I'm in pain from longing, ball it all up and abstain from talking, try to deal with life like everything is okay, while you're pleadin' with your demons, desperate for your soul mate, I've been dying since birth, I need something to sustain me, crying at first, but the numbing insolates me, warm as a uterus, the only place that's safe, no one for you to trust or whom to place your faith, thinking 'bout the problem 'til it no longer exists, but the longer that I wait, the more stronger it is, pondering this, until I fall into a deep slumber, takin' me away from the day into sleep's comfort
(Chorus)
I'm falling down into a hole, I'm calling out, but I'm alone, nothing to feel, nothing to grasp, nothing is real, nothing will last
(Verse 3)
I wish I had more friends that were girls, huh, melodramatic like it's the end of the world, the lack of a feminine specimen can mean everything, too much testosterone, I think I need some estrogen, but I'm passin' by these girls feelin' caterpillars in my stomach, the ones I do meet don't move me, they're doing nothin', clutchin' on a pillow, wishing it was alive, to hold me and stroke me and look into my eyes, I feel inanimate, like I'm just a mannequin, panicin' because I'm in a void that I feel stranded in, people younger than me married and raising kids, and it's hard for me to even picture bein' in relationships, alienation, relation is minimal, over time, the older I get, the more cynical, woe is me, pitiful, just another miserable blip in the universe, it's all cyclical
(Chorus)
I'm falling down into a hole, I'm calling out, but I'm alone, nothing to feel, nothing to grasp, nothing is real, nothing will last
credits
from There's Meaning Underground,
released May 13, 2010
Vocals written and performed by Christopher Michael Jensen.
Original production by Andre Lipsey & Christopher Michael Jensen.