(Opening)
*Sample*: "Nahh nahh nah nah nahhhh, nah nah nah nah nahhhh, alright, alright, nahh nahh nah nah nahhhh, nah nah nah nah nah nahhhh, way cool, nahh nahh nah nah nahhhh, nahh nahh nah nah nahhhh, nah nah nah nah nah nahhhh, just do it"

(Intro)
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm about to lay everything out, that's right, allow Christopher to explain it all

(Verse 1)
Minnesota resident, opposite o' reticent, boisterous rhymes, exclamatory sentences, English major, pen game excellent, give me any subject, I'll drop predicates, spit battle raps, call me warrior orator, kill 'em on a track, better yet, call me coroner, ya heard of us, official mic murderers, stickin' pitchforks through pretentious journalists, and it's a fact, wouldn't pay five cents for Chad Kroeger, and if I did, I'd want my nickel back, but really, though, I don't mean to be cynical, but half the songs out there are identical, the music industry killed the lyrical, while the digital killed the physical, and if video killed the radio star, then reality show killed the video

(Chorus)
Who, what, when, where, why, how, I'm there, to go break everything down right now for ya'll, 'cause Christopher explains it all, how, why, where, when, who, what, well, then, I guess I'm just gonna have to break it down for ya'll, 'cause Christopher explains it all

(Verse 2)
I'm lonely, but what else is new, if it weren't for rap, I don't know what the hell I'd do, this ain't a hobby, it's my life, livin' hip hop all day and into night, twenty-four hours, seven days a week, I don't rest on Sunday, I lay the beat, down, along with the vocals, hangin' out 'round town, rockin' for locals, I got the game locked in a chokehold like 50 rapped, but I ain't in da club, 'cause the dress code's bullshit, and I ain't gonna bill my hat, I rock a T-shirt, with a rapper on the front, wear a pair o' Chucks, jeans baggy on my gut, and when it's cold outside, maybe a sweatshirt with a hood, and I'm good

(Chorus)
Who, what, when, where, why, how, I'm there, to go break everything down right now for ya'll, 'cause Christopher explains it all, how, why, where, when, who, what, well, then, I guess I'm just gonna have to break it down for ya'll, 'cause Christopher explains it all

(Verse 3)
This is hip hop, and yeah, I get pissed off, but not about who's wearin' flip flops, or skinny jeans, who loves 'em, who doesn't, who another dude's fuckin’, or anything in between, half the shit rappers bitch about is so not important, I just ignore 'em, but don't get it twisted like a pubic hair, a lot o' ya'll are stupid, yeah, a bunch of pretentious nonsense is passed off as so called introspection, you're not interesting, just misdirected, without the time invested to do it right, the music might, sound good to you, but to me, I wanna puke at night, so I guess I do throw it up for ya'll, ha ha, I just had to explain it all

(Outro)
So now you know, Christopher Michael Jensen, that's seven syllables, I prob'ly got the longest rap name of anybody you know, ha ha, but this is who I am, Christopher explains it all