(Intro)
Oh, oh, put your hands together, oh, and keep 'em clappin' like this, come on, yeah

(Chorus)
I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', so keep on clappin' your hands

(Verse 1)
I'm fueled by bags o' Doritos and Chipotle burritos and a mix of Subway sandwiches, I eat 'em by the feastful, yo, I drink a lot o' Dr. Pepper, so they call me Phife Dog, on a quest 'cause life's short, but my hopes and dreams are lifelong, I'm funding my album by gettin' money from plasma, so I am literally givin' my blood if I have to, and that's a fact, I'm gonna master every rappin' facet crafted since the days of Grandmaster Caz up until the current chapter, I spit to tracks with different raps while corporate lackies kissin' ass, afraid of pissin' in the wind and gettin' hit with that, I don't take any shit, though, Chris don't ever take no scat, shit talkin' while hip hoppin', sure, but I'm never makin' crap, layin' back and writin' cadences, with mics I'm dangerous like givin' kids some matches and havin' 'em go inside to play with them, in the mainstream everybody lives in a club, pimpin' as thugs, slingin' with drugs or blingin' with rims spinnin' on trucks, but they're never mixin' it up, I'm cool with the subject matter but it has to be creative, not just simplistic as fuck, I'm sick of these chumps, they're borin', so like Steve Borden, I'm stingin', venomous sentences, rap and snap into the mic like it's a Slim Jim, but I ain't Randy Savage, it's more like The Rock, when I talk and verbally lay the smackdown on their candy asses, because I go all in with all guns blazin' like an assassin, but you can't imagin' unless you have the passion that I have and I don't think you do, I don't think that you even have a fraction, go back home and do the math, I'm sure that you'll be comin' back with just the same thing, the equation isn't hard to fathom, if you're bad at math, then try to drop the science while I keep 'em clappin'

(Chorus)
I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', so keep on clappin' your hands

(Verse 2)
It's beautiful like Ellen Page is when everybody gets to loving and joining in celebration, elevation and upliftin' of the human condition through the music's terrific, that's the pursuit of my mission, but anyone fittin' to battle is gettin' ripped a new asshole, while the beat's ridin' like it was just strapped into a saddle, impeccable ability I'm usin' as artillery, equipped with a license to ill, man, my own skills are killin' me, my music's comin' for your ear like There's Something About Mary, drive the crowd insane like House Of Pain, got 'em jumpin' around very quick and emphatically while I'm rippin' it rapidly, but the trick's for each rap release to be made into a masterpiece, kids today don't know what the definition of classic means, which is a tragedy, that's why I think that I have to speak, 'cause the repetition is borin' me, and I'm sick of the corny beats, it's all got me feelin' more pessimistic than Morrissey, but I'm repeating this, spoke 'bout it in the verse previous, seems I'm just obsessed with how much the music biz reeks of shit, have you turned on the radio lately, it's like fellatio daily, everything blows, what's bad versus what's good, the ratio's crazy, but Christopher Michael is ill and sicker than Swine Flu, 'cause music is my life, period, like a chick on her cycle, my other love is comedy, and honestly, I don't wanna see all of these trendy new comedians doin' it awfully, the day that I'm laughin' at 'em will be a cold day in hell, it's times like this that I'm wishin' because I'm missin' Dave Chappelle, but man, whatever, there's so many things I can address, but at the end of the day I'm just gonna make 'em put their hands together

(Chorus)
I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', so keep on clappin' your hands

(Chorus)
I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', so keep on clappin' your hands

(Chorus)
I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', yeah, I keep the people clappin', right, I keep 'em clappin', so keep on clappin' your hands