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about
Track 10
lyrics
Look into my lens, as the record playin' music spins
Reflecting visions of a former Lutheran
The projection's pretend if it blurs the view within
Plenty lessons you can get when depressed and you're turnin' to your friends
Decompressed some pressures ever since I learned to use a pen
But do contend with stresses yet to lessen, burnin' fuel again
Energy depleted 'cause I'm mentally defeated
Trippin' off a food addiction, any recipe, I'll eat it
As a young'n, I just wanted to be loved (loved)
By a woman that wanted more than a hug (hug)
But when your focus is on loneliness, it adds to the hopelessness
Blunders pull you under while others tell you get over it
And I don't wanna nitpick, but I wish that I could write myself a wish list
'Cause there's some things which you can't ask for at Christmas
And a whole lot that I've been waiting to witness
'Cause I know what I want, but I don't know what I need to get
Where I need to live
So I try not to squander your advice that I've pondered
But I'm lost and I wander alone again
Feelings for another turn to veins full of Novocain
My heart goes numb, always saying no to pain
But I'm scared to be forever in my singularity
I wait with baited breath as it suffocates the air in me
Chokin' on desires that just keep expanding wider
And I try to vocalize it but my thoughts are kept in private
So I'm sprawled on a mattress, gazing at a screen
Pornographic images are closer than my dreams
Tantalizing fantasies that fan the flames of amnesty
Freedom through the friction, rub me right until I am at peace
Unreciprocated love turns to artificial lust
Fist coiling a serpent, hissing in disgust
Feelin' the release as a piece inside of me dies (dies)
'Cause it feels like I'll never be alive
Never be surprised, 'cause every disguise
Covers the intentions that I hide
'Cause I know what I want, but I don't know what I need to get
Where I need to live
So I try not to squander your advice that I've pondered
But I'm lost and I wander alone yet again
Yet again
I need to get where I need to live
Yet again, yet again
Hmmmmm, hmmmmm
Recollections of the first girl that I slept with
Spur of the moment without any investment
Nervous at first as we merged and connected
Happy that I did it even though I second guessed it
The room was hot, the fan wasn't workin'
Sweat poured, emotions soared, candles were burnin'
It was like an awakening from the first embrace
To be that close to another person's face
There's a certain place your mind goes when you're intimate
A temporary hope that feels infinite (infinite)
Pretty late in life when I finally lost my innocence
And when I lost it, I found something different
I prob'ly learned just as much in isolation
Bedridden, head spinnin' from the nights of waitin'
'Cause good things don't come to those that wait
They happen takin' action when you create your fate
'Cause I know what I want, but I don't know what I need to get
Where I need to live
So I try not to squander your advice that I've pondered
But I'm lost and I wander alone but it's not the end
It's not the end
No, it's not the end, no, it's not the end
No, it's not the end
It's not the end
credits
from A New Age,
released April 26, 2017
Written and performed by Christopher Michael Jensen